On this show, we are letting go and free-falling into our best life, embracing our journey and searching for meaning. The description of your best life can be as subjective as they come.
I think we can all agree that this involves some level of happiness, realized dreams and measurable success, but the degree to which you reach it can vary dramatically from person to person. We must also recognize that the path to get there is personal and rarely a straight shot. How do our twists and turns factor in? To embrace our journey, we have to start with acceptance, good or bad.
Then we need to take responsibility so that we can find the learning that may be buried behind guilt, shame, or denial. Then we need to pack our bags with the good stuff, let go of the bad stuff, and with a renewed commitment to growth, carry on with our venture through life. Defining what best means to you may change as you do, and that’s OK. Be flexible in your definitions as you learn more from others, from yourself.
and life. Let me tell you about Granny, my husband’s grandmother who turned 100 on Veterans Day. Being a former Marine during World War II, this was especially meaningful. Granny lives her best life. Her parents were Italian immigrants who settled in Milwaukee. She married a military man and had 11 children. They moved around for his career settling outside of St. Louis, Missouri.
Granny lives a life of service to her family, her church, the area children through education, and to her community. She’s an avid reader, writer, and piano player. Her positive spirit and passion for life have kept her spry for a century. It doesn’t take long to hear how grateful she is in any conversation. She doesn’t focus on the struggles that you would expect a child who lived through the depression to do. Instead,
She talks about gratitude for all the experiences she was fortunate enough to have, for the people she’s met, for the family she was blessed with, and the love she gave and received. Granny sets the bar pretty high in my book, but what I’ve learned from her, you get back what you give. She is so loved because she so loved. Over at Wunderlustworker.com
I found you get what you put out into the world. But before we review this article, let’s get to know the author a bit more, because he has quite a story of perseverance and putting out what you want to get back. His name is Robert Kanat, and he’s also known by his pen name R.L. Adams. He says, I started this site, Wanderlust Worker, in the middle of 2014.
But it has now grown beyond anything that I could have ever envisioned, reaching audiences of millions of people around the world. And so many of you write to ask me questions every single day without fail. Often, I find myself responding back with similar responses. But to sum things up, here’s the scoop. In 2011, my life fell apart. I guess you could say I failed in a major way.
My business came crashing down, my marriage ended, and everyone who I had once considered a so-called friend bailed on me. Robert said, “‘Decimated’ doesn’t even describe the state and quality of my life at that time. I was left with nothing. It was the lowest point of my existence, and I knew things had to change. I wanted to improve my life. I wanted things to get better, but I had no idea how I was going to move forward
from the lowest point in my life and pick up the broken pieces. All I really knew was that I wanted more to life than the incessant rollercoaster ride of failure and success. I was done with that. Even though I was nearly homeless at the time, with very little hope left in this world, somehow I mustered the courage to move forward and learn. Robert said the process was brutal.
I wandered around aimlessly for a couple of years, not knowing really what I wanted to do with my life. It was around that point that I locked myself up in a room and started to write. I’m not sure where it all came from, but it just flowed out of me. No, I guess gushing is a better word. Over the course of the next 18 months, I managed to write three dozen books. I built up a massive passive income stream and created numerous courses and niche websites.
Afterwards, I started traveling the world, spending nearly two years in foreign countries. That’s where I met my beautiful wife and had two precious children who are my world. Through it all, the biggest and most important skill that I acquired during this time was SEO, search engine optimization. I guess you can say it’s one of my magic powers. I also became such a prolific writer that I started to write for some of the biggest media publishing houses in the world, like Forbes.
Entrepreneur Magazine, among others, becoming one of the most well-known and most viewed authors on those respective platforms with millions of views and hundreds of thousands of shares of my work. Ranking my content number one for some of the competitive keywords like making money online. To say that I learned a lot is an understatement. Adding to that, I dove deep into who I really was as a person.
I cut everything else out of my life. Not a single toxin entered my body since then, not one. The amount of laser focus that I was able to instill in myself is nothing short of a miracle. I have no idea where it all came from, but I had this burning desire to share what I learned with others. Robert said, that’s why I created Wanderlust Worker. It’s my small and hopefully noticeable contribution to this world.
It’s my way of sharing what I’ve learned with others who might be going through their own bouts with difficulties. Cherie Erison says, Doing good holds the power to transform us on the inside and then ripple out in ever expanding circles that positively impact the world at large. No matter what energy you put out into the world, you get the same energy back. That’s how energy works. It’s vibrational, harmonious with one another.
Think about it this way. Like attracts like. And considering that all thought is energy in its purest form, whatever energy you push out, you’ll get back. A single thought moves from synapses to synapses in the neurons of the mind. A single thought fires through a string of controlled predefined circuits that elicit an emotional response. That thought produces a result, an emotion. And in turn,
some sort of behavior emerges. A love thought might lead to a kiss. A painful thought might lead to tears. And an angry thought might lead to resentment or depression. But this isn’t just soliciting a response from you. You attract the same energy. When you’re angry, you attract anger in all its forms. When you’re happy, you attract happiness from the people all around you.
I know it sounds wishy washy or idealistic, but you really do get what you put out into the world. Ever walk down the street just steaming mad and you notice another person who’s scouring at you? It happens all the time. I know it happens to me. I know that I feel reverberations of any thought that I’m holding at the forefront of my mind. And you want to know the truth? Thoughts are things. What you think, you become.
sit here and list off hundreds of reasons why you get what you put out into the world, but I wanted to relate this more in the form of a story,” said Robert. Let me explain. Not so long ago, a business that I had worked on for three years fell apart after a dispute with my business partner. Let’s just say that this resulted in a fair amount of pain. The crazy thing is that this is a business that I created and built from the ground up.
When you build a business, it’s like raising a baby. I’d argue that it takes an equal amount of time and energy to rear both. So when things fell apart, I was distraught. Devastated might be a better word. I’d really liken it to losing a child. It was like having a limb chopped off. The funny thing is that this ex-business partner of mine went out there and incorporated a brand new business in Delaware roughly a week after this all happened.
Through all of this, I had two choices. I could wallow and weep forever, or I could do something positive. Thankfully, I live off of passive income, so it wasn’t a financial strain on me whatsoever. In fact, I wasn’t even taking a salary from that business, whereas my ex-business partner had his house, car, and all of his bills paid for by the company, plus a salary on top of that. Since he wasn’t financially stable when we started,
I was okay with that at the behest of getting the business off the ground. So I started reaching out to some of the most successful people in the business and marketing world. People like Russell Brunson, Howard Payne, Roland Frazier and others. And I started helping them. I wrote Forbes and Entrepreneurial Magazine articles about them relating their story to the world in a way that would give maximum exposure. As one of the top contributors to those platforms,
This gave me a massive transference of trust. I’m thankful and grateful for that. I wasn’t quite sure where that would lead. I just knew that if I put good energy out there into the world, I would eventually get it back. I just didn’t know what that would translate into. But the crazy thing is that out of that came something extraordinary. It’s interesting what happens when you go out there and help other people without looking for something in return.
Because through that, you definitely get what you put out right back. It just might not happen right away, but it does happen. I recently heard Russell Brunson say something on a Marketing Secrets podcast that caught my attention. He was talking about cycling. No, not the bicycle kind of cycling. I’m talking about the success to failure cycle, or loop. If you haven’t cycled at least once, then something’s wrong.
Maybe you’re not taking enough risks and you’re playing it too safe. Or maybe you’ve just never had to experience massive failure. However, my point here is that it’s okay to fail. It’s not really failure unless you give up. If you just throw in the towel and call it quits, then sure, it might be the end. But there’s a reason why everyone should cycle or fail at least once. You learn more through failure.
You grow mature, reach new understandings, and something changes inside of you. It’s one of the most humbling experiences you could possibly go through. But if you’ve never cycled, you might be playing it too safe. And if you’re playing it safe, you might not be getting what you put out into the world. Those who play it safe don’t often take many risks. They don’t like to rock the proverbial boat.
Status quo is okay with them. Hopefully that’s not you, but if it is, get out there and take risks, add value, and do greater things for other people without the expectation of anything in return. Robert said, my point in telling you all of this is that when things collapsed, my business partner and I went our separate ways. I cycled, again. So what do you think would have happened if I had just put out negative energy
to the world. Do you think I would have gotten what I put out? Right back? Sure, I would have. That’s how energy works. You get what you put out into the world because thought waves are energy that vibrate at a specific frequency. That frequency attracts similar frequencies to it. That’s why happy people attract other happy people and angry people attract other angry people. In my situation, had I focused on trying to destroy my ex-business partner?
I would have never met wonderful influential people who I’m so grateful to call my friends today. I would have been so immersed in that situation that all my energy would have gone towards dealing with the negative situation. In fact, when I did learn what was going on, I was able to turn to those same people and quickly resolve the situation. Yes, I got back what I put out into the world because that’s how the world works.
Think about your own life and situations in the past. What situations did you put out good energy and attract the right people or situations into your life? When you pray or focus on a deep rooted belief of good things to come, you’re sending out positive energy into the world. Everything is connected, everything. So it vibrates through the universal oneness that binds us all and it comes back.
So I’d say to shift your focus, don’t concentrate on the negative, focus on the positive. Learn, grow, understand, mature. Emanate love from every fiber of your being and help others. Watch how extraordinary things unfold in your life. It truly is one of the most remarkable things that I’ve ever witnessed, and I would highly recommend it to you. If you’re angry at someone or resentful, let it go.
Release that energy. Shift your focus. Find the good in a bad situation. Focus on contribution. Robert said, I promise you that if you go out there and you add value and work for free and help others, you’ll forget about the bad things that happen to you. Focus on gratitude. Be grateful every moment of the day because
One moment you’re here and the next moment you’re six feet under. Never forget that. All things are temporary and you’ll only experience what you focus on. So focus on contribution. Even if you think you have very little to offer, go out there and give something of yourself to others. Even if it’s just donating your time, go help someone. Go find people that you can add value to. Contribute to their lives.
make the world a better place. If you’re trying to excel in business, find the most successful people in your industry and help them. Do it for free. Forget about money for a while. It’s far better off to go out there and just give without expectation of anything in return and watch what unfolds. There’s something about doing this. There’s just nothing like it. Not only does it feel good, but there’s a shift of focus.
When you contribute, you send a deep signal to your mind that there’s more than enough of whatever it is that you have or need. Because when you help others, that’s exactly what happens. And when you sow those seeds, you eventually reap the rewards. Don’t focus on getting revenge or getting even. Instead, turn that energy into something you can channel and use it to help others.
If you have someone in your life that’s draining you, get rid of them. Make a change. Decide right now. It doesn’t take much effort. It’s just a decision. You can decide to do something in an instant. In a moment, you can make the decision that will change the trajectory and quality of your life forever. So do it. Don’t wait another moment because in this world, you’ll always get whatever it is you put out there.
So put out goodness and kindness and help others. Then watch as the magic unfolds.
love these ideas and as we learn from his story, it took what could be seen as tragedy to get him there. Is it like that for everyone? I mean, I’ve heard the old adage, no pain, no change. So do you just stick with status quo unless you’re pushed into something different? You know, when you’re in the thick of life, it’s hard to see the bigger picture. I talk about that a lot. You know, just that vantage point.
Things are right in front of you. You can’t really step back and see how everything is going to play out. So you’re just doing what you can to get through life. Sometimes that’s running on a hamster wheel and not really making any progress. Sometimes you get that nugget of revelation where you can take a massive step forward. The Internet gives us access to so many ideas on self-discovery that I find people are starting much earlier.
I mean, imagine you can see it all over the different social media channels, all over Pinterest, all these ideas of self-help, how to nurture yourself. I think about, I don’t want to say the olden days, I’m not that old, but I think about a person my age maybe in a bookstore because obviously we didn’t have the internet, but in a bookstore in the self-help aisle? No, never. In fact, I think we wouldn’t have been caught dead in that aisle.
So what did we do? Well, we just went out there. Of course, we weren’t taking our parents’ advice, any kind of struggles they’ve already been through that they try to instill in us. You know, we didn’t take that. We had to live by our own, just our own measure of things. But nowadays, you can make a commitment so early to learn more about yourself, and that is valuable.
You know, one year I spoke to Girls World Expo, and this was an expo focused on ages 13 to 18, I think is what it was. And it was so great to get in front of that audience, especially with something like encouragement and how to have some more self-awareness. It was great. But the director of that event asked me, you know, what would you say? What would you tell parents if they could instill anything in their…
little girls as they’re growing up, what would you say? Without hesitation, I said, self-love. It’s important for all youth to really instill their own sense of worth, their own worthiness, their own self-love. If we look to others to validate that and to instill that in us, we’re going to constantly look for outside sources to give us what we need. When it’s all inside.
You know, unplugging and feeling confident in your own abilities to make a decision or to understand if you look good today and if you’re capable today, if you’re worthy today. Focusing on yourself also helps you from getting stuck saving someone else. I, for one, know all about this. It’s easy to look outside to help others to focus on their recovery or their
experiences, and then disregard your own. It is so important to focus on yourself that is not selfish in any way, but to live your best life, you need to know who you are, and what makes you happy, and what you can contribute to the world. Lucy Gower shares how to live the best life starting today found at lifehack.org.
As human beings, one of our deepest rooted desires is to have a meaningful and happy existence. You’ve probably heard of the saying, live your best life, and it’s good advice. We all want to feel connected to both ourselves and others. We want to feel that we’re part of something important and that we’re making a difference in the world. We want to look back at our lives and our achievements and be proud. In short, we want what the saying says.
to live our best lives. What does it really mean to live your best life? You’re a unique individual, so living your best life is exclusive to you. Your best life will reflect your true values. It will be made up of what makes you happy and will be colored by what making a difference means to you. While living your best life is all about you,
What other people think can have an impact on your quest to live your best life. Social media, for example, puts us under a lot of pressure. There are specific expectations of what happy looks like, and we’re under pressure to conform to what society expects. For example, we’re pressured to look a certain way, wear the right clothing, have exciting
healthy food and do charity work.
There are only a few society expectations. It’s a long list. Social media claims to connect us, but it often can do the opposite. We can spend so much time worrying about what other people are doing, trying to live the life that society expects us, that it can be easy to lose track of what makes us happy and what our best lives actually look like. For me, in the moments we face death during a…
heroin experience on a plane, I became intensely aware of these three questions by which I was judging how my life had been up to that point. How am I experiencing love? The love I felt in the moment for my husband, our loved ones who were on the ground, and all others in the world was truly profound. I became aware that love, both my ability to receive it and share it, matters more than anything else.
How authentically am I sharing my unique gift? We each have a unique gift, the gift, energy, and essence that is who we really are. Each person has a unique gift to offer that no one else can or ever will. Living our best life means finding creative ways to share our best selves, whether in our work, our creative hobbies, or simply how we live. And then, what am I grateful for?
It’s easy to focus on our worries and anxieties or the distractions of everyday life. When we remember our own mortality, we realize that each moment is a gift. What matters most in the big picture perspective of our lives is very personal. Figuring it out is how we uncover our formula for living our best lives. So, are you ready to start the journey?
Here are some practical tips and tools to move from living your current life to living your best life. 1. Be the best version of yourself. To live your best life, you must be the best version of yourself. Don’t try to be something or someone else. Don’t try to be what other people want you to be or what you think they want you to be. Focus on who you want to be.
You are brilliant. Gretchen Rubin in her book, Happiness Project, created her own commandments. The first one was, be Gretchen. This gave her permission to follow her gut feeling and make up her own rules. For example, she stopped forcing herself to enjoy parties, cocktails, and fashion just because that’s what she thought society expected. So inspired by Gretchen, create your own commandment. Be more you.
and remind yourself of this every day unapologetically. Number two, observe yourself. To work out what the best you looks like, you must get to know yourself better. It’s your best life after all, no one else’s. Start to notice how you respond to various situations. What are your habits? What makes you happy? What frustrates you? How do you behave under pressure? What gives you energy?
What drains you? Spend a week simply noticing. Write your observations down so you’ll remember. Number three, identify your bad habits. As part of your observations, start to notice your bad habits. Consider the things that don’t ultimately make you feel good. Does scrolling mindlessly through Instagram make you happy? Maybe for five minutes, but longer?
That last glass of wine was delicious, but do you pay the price later? That chocolate was enjoyable for the moment, but now that your sugar high is over, are you starting to feel regretful? Observe yourself first, then start to deliberately do more of the things that make you happy and give you energy. At the same time, work on reducing or eliminating the habits that squander your time.
Drain your energy and ultimately don’t make you happy. Number four, set intentions. After having thought about what makes you happy and what drains your energy, focus on what living the best life looks like. One of the keys to this is being intentional about it. When you deliberately set intentions, you’re more likely to act with purpose and drive.
Setting intentions is different from setting goals. Goals are your list of things you want to achieve. You can set them daily, monthly, yearly, or even a combination. A common practice is to define goals and write them down. This makes them more tangible and makes you accountable, therefore making the goals more likely to happen. The subtle yet important difference between goals and intentions
is that when setting intentions, you decide what kind of positive feelings and emotions you’re seeking. For example, this week my intention is to approach my admin task with gusto in order to complete them more quickly. Intentions can be more motivating than goals because if you don’t achieve your goal, it can feel like failure and can ultimately hold you back.
You can easily regroup and have another go. Write down your intentions every month, week, or day using whichever time frame works best for you. Maybe something like, I intend to go swimming three times a week. Or I intend to assertively build my network in my local area this month. Setting intentions gives you something to focus on.
And it also helps you to manage the feeling of being overwhelmed that often happens when we set ourselves goals.
Number five, visualize living your best life. Visualization can help you to submit your intentions. It involves visualizing how it would feel to live your best life once you achieve it. It can help you to further establish what you want and allow you to settle into a positive mindset. To visualize, first, choose your focus. Choose a specific intention and how you will feel once it’s accomplished. Then,
Take the time to daydream and allow your imagination to wander. For example, if your intention is going swimming three times a week, imagine what you will look and feel like. What will you wear? How do you get there? What time of day do you go? How will you feel when you’re in the water? How do you feel afterward? Ask yourself these little questions and allow yourself to feel the same feelings you would
if you are currently fulfilling your intention. Now that you’ve decided and visualized what your best life looks like, let’s look at some more practical steps you can take to achieve it.
Focus. Whatever you do, focus. If you swim, swim. If you study, study. Multitasking is a myth. It’s not possible to do more than one thing at a time. Focused work is the least tiresome and most productive type of work. Take responsibility for taking action. Taking action can feel scary. We fear failure.
But we can also fear success. It can be easy to feel too busy to achieve your intentions. However, if you have the choice to take action and live your best life or stay the same, it’s up to you. So take responsibility to take action. Live in the present. Every day is a new opportunity to live your best life. We so often get stuck because we put things off. We think,
When I’ve lost 10 pounds, then I’ll go swimming. Or when I feel more confident, I’ll look for a new job. Or when I get my new running shoes, I’ll start running. How about starting from where you are? How about using what you already have? We often put off taking action until we have the newest phone, camera, game, course, book, shoes, as if they are all keys to happiness. In the process,
We forget about what we already have. So grab the camera that you have, put on your old running shoes, go and do something interesting today with what you have. Fancier gadgets, better clothes, or a slimmer body won’t make you better. Action will. Practice mindfulness. Research has revealed that a simple way to be happier and live your best life comes from developing the ability to fully experience each moment.
Mindfulness is the ability to observe the present moment without judging. Mindfulness has many impressive benefits for physical and mental health. Diabetic patients who are taught mindfulness skills experience lower blood sugar and increased happiness. Mindfulness on the job has proven to reduce exhaustion and increase job satisfaction. Mindfulness is not difficult to learn, and it’s something we can do in the moment, right now.
Take a breath.
And notice how that breath feels as it’s going into your lungs. How does your body feel? Are your muscles stiff or relaxed? Do you feel warm or cold? Use your five senses to describe your immediate experience. This is all it takes to be fully present. How about declutter? This applies to the environment you live in as well as the people you spend your time
Use Marie Kondo’s decluttering method of asking, does it bring you joy? If your answer is yes, you keep the item. If you hesitate or say no, you donate it or throw it out, simple. This also applies to people. If there are people in your life that make you feel bad, drain your energy and don’t bring you joy, let them go. Instead, spend time with people and activities that give you energy and make you feel good.
Relish the simple things. When we’re busy, we can forget to appreciate what we have. Take time to focus on the simple things. Even when you’re feeling low, there’s always something to be grateful for. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Be deliberate in being grateful for what you have, rather than resentful for what you don’t.
Make someone’s day. Be kind to others, make them feel good, and it also releases chemicals in your body that make you feel good. Think about a time you gave someone a gift that they loved. How did you feel? You don’t have to start giving people gifts to make someone’s day. Think about small, thoughtful gestures, a genuine compliment, opening the door, offering to help someone. All these things can make a big difference in someone’s day.
Look after your body. Eat what nourishes you, including plenty of vegetables and fruit and food that’s natural and unprocessed. Drink plenty of water. Manage your inner critic. Most people have an inner critic that tells them they’re not good enough, that they’re a fraud, and that they’re going to be found out. This happens especially when we step out of our comfort zone and change things.
If you’re living your best life, your inner critic likes to jeopardize that. The next time it appears, acknowledge what’s happening and call it out. Whatever it’s telling you, list all the reasons it’s wrong. Be prepared to change the plan. You may have set intentions to live your best life. However, life is not linear. Nor does it work in lists.
You must expect to be flexible and change the plan as life throws things at you. The end game remains the same. To live your best life, it’s just the route to get there that will inevitably change. Learn to flow. One of the most powerful ways to connect with our true selves and experience positive emotions is through flow. Now, flow is like mindfulness in action.
Flow is when we are so engrossed in what we’re doing that we get into a zone and stop thinking about anything else. We can experience this when we’re playing an instrument, for example, or playing a sport, creating artwork, writing, or reading. Being in flow increases our happiness, helps us reach optimal performance, and boosts our creativity. Find things that transfer your mind to a flow state in order to start working toward
your best life. Hit the reset button often. Sometimes life sends us curve balls we aren’t prepared for. It’s important to know how to get back to the center, to who we are and to reconnect with our goals and priorities. If you ever find yourself feeling off course or negative, imagine hitting a pause button. It only takes a minute to refocus. Knowing how to reset our energy is important.
when it comes to navigating minor distractions and major life changes for personal growth. For me, living my best life today looks much different. Instead of racing, trying to get ahead of the person in front of me, I’m looking at things just a little bit easy. You know, what can I do in the moment? Do I have to be front and line?
Do I have to be the most successful? Do I have to be top of the class? What about taking it easy and appreciating connection? You know, I still feel rushed, but that’s me. I like to book my time. I like to be busy. But I’m going to spend time learning from others. You know, there was a point in my life where of course I thought I knew it all. I think we’ve all been there before.
But it took some humbling experiences to realize I was just getting started. And there are so many people that I respect that I could learn from. So invest time in connections. You know, spend time learning from your peers. Take time to encourage someone. I think that was my biggest revelation of the last decade is that it is important to listen, to support.
to celebrate and to give back. There’s never been anything as meaningful in my life as pouring into someone else. And if you told me that in an earlier point of my life, I wouldn’t have believed it. I probably would have said, I’m too busy. I’m trying to get somewhere in my life. I’m trying to make something of myself. I didn’t realize the payoff for investing in someone else.
So I urge you to do that. That’s the best way to give back. And remember, you’re living your best life, not someone else’s. So don’t look to other people. Don’t model yourself in those ways. Don’t compare what you have to what someone else has. Go within, spend some time listening to yourself and understanding your own energy.
If you want to share encouragementology with a friend who needs to know they’re not alone in this journey of self-discovery, you can visit encouragementology.com or anywhere you stream your content to receive this episode and all others. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for additional encouragement throughout the week. So I challenge you. Decide how you want your best life to look and focus your efforts on putting that out into the world. Feel love by giving it.
heart, mind, and soul. I know you can do it.
Thank you for listening to Encouraged Mentology with Kendall Boison, where we find positive ways to handle some of life’s challenges.