When it rains it pours, doesn’t it? Some of us feel the tiniest raindrop and we run for cover and others get drenched knowing we should seek shelter but are unable to move. Self-doubt, a misguided sense of responsibility, past failures, worry, fear…you name it, we’re stuck. Taking a risk, calculated or not, and moving on can be one of the hardest things to do. With it comes a storm of “what ifs” to go and to stay. But here’s a what-if; what if there are smooth sailing and sunshine right around the corner. What if, it’s been waiting for you to arrive this whole time. What took you so long?
We’ve all stayed in the rain a little too long before moving on. Let’s talk about what possesses us to endure the obvious and what we need, to motivate a change. Then let’s look at the benefits of moving on. Not just hoping for a clear day but seriously getting to a place of acceptance, letting go, and moving on. Ready to control the weather?
Are you in a situation right now? Quick, the first one that came to mind. It could be a romantic relationship that has seen more lows than highs or a work situation that is less than fulfilling. Whatever your storm….why are you still standing in the rain?
I’m not saying it’s easy, Lord knows that’s not what I’m saying. No seriously, he knows. He saw me drowning and threw me a line. The quote I mentioned is something I aspire to have not something I’ve always possessed.
The turning point for me was admitting I couldn’t do everything. Yes, I said. I can’t do everything! Not for a lack trying but at some point you have to admit defeat and let go of the control you think you have and try something new. Instead of trying and failing at fixing everyone else, I decided to fix me. Six years ago I put myself first. I’m going to leave a dramatic pause at the end of that because it doesn’t happen for most of us. Putting yourself first seems selfish and egotistical.
I’ve always heard, you can’t help others until you help yourself but I never fully knew what that meant. Remember, I was stuck in the delusion that I could do anything. Taking care of me didn’t mean getting my hair and nails done or a nice massage, it meant listening and responding to my needs. I had to get in touch with who I am and who I wanted to be. I had to explore my own fears and insecurities to create a plan to get there.
This doesn’t happen overnight but it’s the first step to getting out of the rain. Make the decision that you are worth more. Accept the fact that the only person you can save is you. Grab the umbrella and the rest will be a meaningful discovery.
Not every situation can be so judicious. Sometimes every act of nature is being thrown in your direction and you aren’t willing to accept that you are in the eye of the storm by your own doing. It’s called denial and it doesn’t mean you are stupid or defiant. In most cases, you believe you are helping. As twisted as that may sound especially when you stay it out loud to a trusted friend or worse, a stranger who doesn’t know any back story. You feel a sense of responsibility for someone else’s happiness and emotional well being.
Now, we all want to be helpful and we all want to be liked but the person drenched to the bone because they won’t seek shelter is a person who believes they have more control.
Once you shift your perspective and accept a clear and honest picture of where you are, why you are there, and how to make the right decision, it’s time to focus on you.
Moving on is moving to a different vantage point for your life. Instead of being in the ditch digging away without direction, you are ready to be more strategic and develop a blueprint for what you want out of YOUR life. Let the fun begin!
Guess what, just in case you are looking over your shoulder fearful that you’ve moved on too quickly (while drenched to the bone of all the second, nay the endless chances you’ve given); they will be just fine. Really, they will. We all have a life to lead and that includes trials, tribulations, success, and failure. We are all meant to walk through these without being carried.
CHALLENGE: Grab an umbrella and a moment to evaluate the situation. Don’t accept unhappy as the problem instead of the symptom. Dig deeper and then get a better vantage point to chart out your next move.
I Know YOU Can Do It!
Resources:
5 questions to ask yourself from Positively Present
Joseph Wilner Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control
Jennifer Lyn Sanin from, live purposely now
Ilene Strauss Cohen Ph.D. – Important Tips on How to Let Go and Free Yourself