SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are walking a fine line and exploring a delicate balance as we find our voices while embracing our silence. Choices… aren’t you glad you have choices? Now if we could just figure out the right cadence, the appropriate timing, and the relevance of it all. You might have heard, “if you want something you have to speak up and demand it” but then you may have also heard, “you get more bees with honey“. No matter which way you turn, you can find a quote validating your decision.
“Where you see wrong or inequality or injustice, speak out, because this is your country. This is your democracy. Make it. Protect it. Pass it on.” -Thurgood Marshall.
“Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid”. – Bernard Meltzer
“Silence is a source of great strength”. Lao Tzu
When you consider whether to speak up or to remain silent or somewhere in between, you have to consider a few factors:
Timing – is this the appropriate time for you to insert your opinion or defend your idea?
Relevancy – is what you’re saying relevant to the conversation, climate, or the hour?
Origin – where did this idea originate? From a place of kindness or retaliation?
Outcome – what are you hoping to gain with your input? To prove a point, further the conversation, share knowledge, or lobby acceptance.
That might sound insane to have to go through that filtering system before you speak but let’s sit back and think about it for a minute. We have all been guilty of speaking before thinking. Letting our emotions or thirst for justification, get the better of us or walked away from a conversation wishing we would have kept our mouth shut.
Building in a moment to pause….and think, could make all the difference.
Brittany Johnson shares 7 Things To Remember When You’re Scared To Speak Up
Greg Savva sheds some light on the feel of Powerlessness found at couseling-direcory.org
Over at emindful.com, I found Three Ways to Help You Speak Up and Convey Your Thoughts
KEY HIGHLIGHTS: Finding Your Voice And Embracing Your Silence
- When you find your voice, you don’t find some new thing inside of you; instead, you find a little more of you.
- “Finding your voice” is a misleading name for this process. The real work is wondering why you don’t like what you already have to say.
- One thing I’m learning is to let everyone establish their own level of comfort. It’s not up to me to make people comfortable.
- Most social conflicts between good people start with bad communication or no communication.
- The right words can be incredibly healing.
- You are as powerful as the meaningful ideas you share with others, and you are as wise as the selective silence you leave behind.
- Without fully knowing how your words will be received and what kind of effect they might have – should you be so free with them?
- Sometimes finding the will to voice our opinion is challenging because we’re worried it isn’t in the majority
- Taking time to connect to our values also can motivate us to share our opinion – even when they might not be popular.
- When it comes to expressing our needs, sometimes timing is as important as knowing what to say.
CHALLENGE: take a moment to assess and decide what is best for you and the situation. Your words are powerful and when used appropriately they can inspire, soothe, and encourage. Filter negativity and speak up with authority or stay silent with intention.
I Know YOU Can Do It!