On this show…we are going to “worry about ourselves” as we seek to understand the different characteristics of codependency. Please don’t immediately identify with or reject this behavior before we dive in and dig deeper. This is not a one-size fits all terminology nor is it a terminal practice. Instead, it’s a deeply rooted compulsive behavior that more than 90 percent of Americans display during their lifetimes. Are they all codependent? No. But could they benefit from becoming aware of these patterns and characteristics in an attempt to redirect their journey in a more positive direction? YES!
I remember the first time I heard the term codependent or rather, heard and rejected the term. Being fiercely independent, at least with some aspects of my life, all I could hear was the word “dependent” and I thought, “That couldn’t be me!” So like a Rumba, I hit wall after wall, trying to redirect my course only to hit another wall. It wasn’t until the second therapist suggested I read Melody Beattie’s book, Codependent No More, that I gave in. I do believe timing is everything and if I had read those words earlier, before I was ready to identify my own role, then they wouldn’t have landed quite the same way. But from the first chapter, I knew she was talking to me. It was like looking in a mirror, as hard as the reflection was to see. There she and her screwed-up thinking were, looking back at me saying, “Finally, now let’s get our act together!”.
CHALLENGE: take care of your most important relationship, YOU. Detach with love and look inward. Identify what you want and how you feel. To give to others, you have to first, give to yourself.
I Know YOU Can Do It!