SHOW NOTES:
On this show…..we are getting creative with our connections and effective with our communication. We have the unique ability to build rapport, develop meaningful and lasting relationships, share the most important details of our lives, brainstorm, give & receive encouragement, and love – why waste a single ounce of that ability. We may be inclined to say NOW more than ever we need to get creative in the way we connect and communicate but don’t forget, every generation faced their own unique challenges. When something is valued it becomes a priority and priorities get special treatment. All of a sudden time and resources are not an issue when something is that important to you
We start with ranking our connections and the importance they have in our lives to determine what we’re dealing with. You may have a big family full of brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, with a bahoodle of cousins. Holidays and special occasions might be the perfect chance for you all to get together and catch up while sharing fun stories about times past. Your day-to-day may mirror the same, a big network of friends, a tight group of close friends, and loved valued by your co-workers.
But then again, your situation might look quite different. You are a bit of a loner. Normal-sized family, most of who have moved on and started their own families. You have a few friends with good intentions but you rarely see them unless they or you need something. Funerals and weddings are more like reunions since it’s the only time you actually see everyone. That’s just the way it is – you like your alone time.
Why do I put so much value on connections? I mean really, we’ve had our day in the sun with a wonderful group of close friends. They were there when I needed them and my needs have changed. I’m older now and don’t need them like I used to. I’m really ok alone.
I don’t buy it and neither should you.
We dig into all aspects…Human connection is an energy exchange between people who are paying attention to one another. It has the power to deepen the moment, inspire change, and build trust.
When researchers refer to the concept of “social connection,” they mean the feeling that you belong to a group and generally feel close to other people. Scientific evidence strongly suggests that this is a core psychological need essential to feeling satisfied with your life.
Social Isolation is a state of complete or near-complete lack of contact between an individual and society. It differs from loneliness, which reflects a temporary lack of contact with other humans.
Data indicates that we can increase social connections through practicing compassion for others as well as for ourselves. Another way to build stronger social connections is to ask yourself what would make you happy in contributing to your community. Focusing on “what you can give to others” is a proven way to feel both better about yourself and more connected to others.
Loneliness is a common problem among people of all ages and backgrounds, and yet it’s something that most of us hesitate to admit. But loneliness is nothing to feel ashamed about. Sometimes, it’s a result of external circumstances: you’ve moved to a new area, for example. In such cases, there are lots of steps you can take to meet new people and turn acquaintances into friends.
But what if you’re struggling with shyness, social insecurity, or a long-standing difficulty making friends?
When it comes to shyness and social awkwardness, the things we tell ourselves make a huge difference. Here are some common thinking patterns that can undermine your confidence and fuel social insecurity:
- Believing that you’re boring, unlikeable, or weird.
- Believing that other people are evaluating and judging you in social situations.
- Believing that you’ll be rejected and criticized if you make a social mistake.
- Believing that being rejected or socially embarrassed would be awful and devastating.
- Believing that what others think about you defines who you are.
You don’t have to be perfect to be liked. In fact, our imperfections and quirks can be endearing. Even our weaknesses can bring us closer to others.
It’s okay to make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes; it’s part of being human. So give yourself a break when you mess up. Your value doesn’t come from being perfect. If you find self-compassion difficult, try to look at your own mistakes as you would those of a friend. What would you tell your friend? Now follow your own advice.
Your negative self-evaluations don’t necessarily reflect reality. In fact, they probably don’t, especially if you:
- Call yourself names, such as “pathetic,” “worthless,” “stupid,” etc.
- Beat yourself up with all the things you “should” or “shouldn’t” have done.
- Make sweeping generalizations based on a specific event. For example, if something didn’t go as planned, you tell yourself that you’ll never get things right, you’re a failure, or you always screw up.
Try not to take things too personally. The other person may be having a bad day, be distracted by other problems, or just not be in a talkative mood. Always remember that rejection has just as much to do with the other person as it does with you.
This is a great time to insert Don Miguel Ruiz’s #2 agreement – Don’t take things personally
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
Effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, you need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes the other person feel heard and understood.
Effective communication skill 1: Become an engaged listener
Skill 2: Pay attention to nonverbal signals
Skill 3: Keep stress in check
Skill 4: Assert yourself
CHALLENGE: Make space and align your priorities in creating and maintaining healthy connections. Giving and receiving encouragement is just one of the many joyful facets of effective communication. With any skill, it takes awareness and practice!
I Know YOU Can Do It!