SHOW NOTES:
On this show…our goal is to find forgiveness so that we may flourish, embracing healing and growth. We’ve all heard it before, holding onto a grudge hurts you more than the other person. Anger begets more anger, and forgiveness and love lead to more forgiveness and love. But forgiving, even ourselves, is no easy business. The seeds of hurt run deep and many make the act of forgiveness but never truly let go and move forward. Fortunately, there is a path and a roadmap to freedom. Start by acknowledging the hurt and your feelings about it. Then, try to understand the perspective of the person who hurt you or your capabilities and accountability. The next step is a decision, decide to forgive, letting go of resentment, and the desire for revenge. When you see the clearing, work on rebuilding trust and moving forward with a focus on healing and growth.
Pain is inevitable: suffering is optional.
Forgiveness is complex which is both frustrating and assuring. I say this because if taken lightly, we are leading lukewarm lives. With great love comes great sorrow. To be hurt deeply you have to feel deeply so in this it is both a blessing and a curse.
I hold no grudges. I can seriously say that. It might be purely selfish but it takes too much energy and focus to hold onto anger. Oh sure, I’ve been wronged, at least it felt that way but then what… If you can’t get the satisfaction of an authentic apology and penance then how do you move forward? You just do because without a satisfactory resolution, it’s a choice to move on without it. It’s important to understand that people are just people, flawed, imperfect, hopefully evolving and growing at their own rate. Not everyone is going to be on your page, respond as you respond, and do as you do. If you didn’t already know that, let me reiterate, move on! Waiting around for this type of utopia is a worthless vigil.
“Passion and a zest for life are not defined by extremes; even in moments of lukewarm feelings, choose to be slow to anger and quick to forgive, embracing a balanced and compassionate approach to living.”
Dr. Tyler J. VanderWeele shares The Power of Forgiveness found at psychologytoday.com
Roger Gabriel walks us through 13 Steps That Lead to Forgiveness found at chopra.com
- Acknowledge the mistake: Recognize and accept that you made a mistake or hurt yourself or others.
- Feel the emotions: Allow yourself to feel any guilt, shame, or regret that may arise from the mistake.
- Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and that you are worthy of forgiveness.
- Reflect and learn: Reflect on the mistake and consider what you can learn from it to avoid repeating it in the future.
- Apologize if necessary: If your mistake hurt others, consider apologizing and making amends to those affected.
- Let go of perfectionism: Accept that you are human and that making mistakes is a natural part of life.
- Focus on the present: Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on the present moment and how you can move forward in a positive way.
- Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings and experiences to gain perspective and support.
Forgiving yourself can be a challenging process, but it is an important step toward healing and moving forward in a positive way.
CHALLENGE: Forgiveness is a transformative act that can profoundly impact your well-being. By releasing resentment and anger, you free yourself from emotional burdens, leading to increased mental clarity and peace. Embrace forgiveness to cultivate healthier relationships, promote inner healing, and pave the way for a more fulfilling life.
I Know YOU Can Do It!